Skiing Instagram is a beautiful gift and an unbelievably frustrating curse.
Whatever I feel when I scroll it, I know that I’m limp to its power. What I have noticed in my hours upon hours of wasted time on that app are 5 distinct types of fall ski area posts.
This is no definitive list. I’m missing posts like, “Last day to buy the SUPER DUPER Pass” post, the “Here’s what you need to know before you ski during COVID” reminder, or the “It’s little Johnny’s first day skiing” heartwarmer.
Here are the 5 ski area posts you get in the fall:
Especially in the Midwest, the last 2 weeks have been a barrage of snowmaking posts. I had to image search a few of them just to make sure all these ski areas aren’t sharing the same photos.
They are also accompanied by a “Thank you to our snowmakers,” or a “It’s starting to look like winter!” caption.
But seriously, there have been so…
Early season powder post
We’re all sitting here hoping the temperature dips below 30 long enough for our favorite ski areas to paint one 200-foot strip of snow white for us. But over at your favorite resort in the Rockies, it just won’t stop snowing.
While we are scanning the 10-day for something that’s not rain, they’re already knee deep in (insert seemingly any Western state) and their full-time social media manager isn’t letting you forget it.
“It’s already deep here at (wherever)! We can’t wait to see you on the slopes!”
I hate you so much, (wherever).
Deceivingly-cropped snow conditions post
The snow guns have been on for about 4 hours now at (random Midwest hill) and the Marketing Director/Group Sales Manager/Terrain Park tech/Janitor needs some content for the ‘gram.
He’s on his hands and knees, framing the perfect photo that makes his hill look like a powder paradise, when in reality the place looks like Shrek’s head with a white pimple on it.
Mid-February double-take post
It’s probably a “please buy our pass” post or some other reminder, but this ski area posted a photo from February that stops your scroll in its tracks.
You might think, for one second, that it looks incredible at (ski area X) and that it must be snowing hard at (ski area Y) until you read the caption and realize that post is not from today and not even from this year.
It was taken last February on the snowiest, bluebird-iest day imaginable. Just enough to trick your weak, feeble, little mind.
Teen nails a trick on 15th try post
Some kid flings himself off the newest terrain park feature, landing effortlessly. So much swag. This must be the kind of talent this ski area attracts to its park on any given Tuesday night. Right?
Not pictured: The 14 other attempts at that jump where the kid broke his goggles, his ribs and his own spirit while his buddies mercilessly mocked him for his efforts.
Also not pictured: The 70 other people sitting around the terrain park because the rope tow is one of two lifts open and being there is better than being anywhere else.